JAYBOYS WORLD

happy pride month! this is now officially the second blog post ive made on my neocities. who else smiled. :)? its been around 12+ years since i came out to my parents (though, as labels i no longer identify with) and it hits me that ive basically spent half of my life pre-transition... hopefully within this next half a year though ill be able to officially start medically and legally transitioning after i move ^_^;...... sorry to be a little depressing at the start of the month lol.

anyways to talk about something else also connected to pride month. since yesterday i have not been able to stop thinking about the song i linked up above. it has been a favorite of mine since i started listening to ben chalatit's discography, and the lyrics really resonate with me, especially as a trans gay man LOL. idk. just a beautiful song with pretty heartbreaking lyrics. p'ben is probably one of my fave artists like ever. especially when it comes to love songs, his music really hits.

to update my last blog post, i REALLY enjoyed Monkey Man. amazing fucking movie. got my complaints about the censorship and whatnot. but otherwise, the choreography, story, and everything was so beautifully done. i actually watched it like 4 times LOLLLLLL. id love to watch it again and again. but thats just how i am with movies. speaking of movies i watched multiple times, i also ended up seeing I Saw The TV Glow. first time i watched i was with a friend of my late mother. she calls herself a movie lover. which... i am too but i guess not at her level because i typically gotta be actually interested in watching something before deciding to watch. anyways. when we went to watch it i did not know anything about the movie, i had not even seen a trailer. so fucking spoiler alert but guess my reaction when i realized the story was about the main character repressing her transness. dear god. i couldnt fully grasp the movie because i was with my mother's friend so i ended up going to a theater to watch it again alone and honestly, the second viewing hit me like a truck. sobbing in the theater and shit. idk. it struck me hard as a pre-transition guy i guess. if by some insane 0.00001% chance the director of the film sees this. thanks.

i guess to wrap this all up i can talk about games i played last month now :] yayyyyy yay. i played 2 yakuza games. one really hit me and one was TRASH (still i enjoyed parts of the game that did not piss me the hell off) lol. as it goes i guess. whatever. i dont get my hopes up for games made in the 2000s so it does not surprise me but yknow yknow. i also started playing Control. got to this one bit with a like lodge in montana? pacific northwest horror here we come. after i finish control ill be getting onto Alan Wake 2... which i am SUPER excited for. other than that tho i have been spending the rest of my gaming time playing shit like ultrakill, left 4 dead 2, gmod, and once in a while powerwash sim. ive been thinking of picking up more ps2 games to fuck around with. i got everblue and everblue 2 on my list but i need to look for more tbhhhh. missing the jank that robot alchemic drive had HONESTLY. also ive been watching a friend play deus ex and its rly good. in my opinion. jc denton is a loser nerd but its funny. uhhh to close out this months blog post heres some images from the past month. okay heart

May 3rd, 2024

games currently playing:

Endless Ocean Luminous, Yakuza: Like a Dragon

shows currently watching:

actually nothing LOL

song stuck in my head:

Kamnoet Hanuman by KLUAYTHAI

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first blog post yay! idk how the fuck to start this so im just gonna dump my personal life shit, thoughts, and whatever yay yay. now that may has hit im officially 2 months away from moving out of my father's apartment im soooo excited. i have a lot of work to do in terms of setting myself up for said move, but i got time :].

in a few days from now i plan to go watch monkey man with a friend. super excited. xin (hi if ur reading this) keeps pestering me asking when im gonna see it. action movie fighting freaks (us). legitimately though looking forward to see it.

last month i actually played a few games. one of my faves that i got through was robot alchemic drive because i kept seeing clips of the game go around (it is cheaper to buy vegetables here ^_^). HONESTLY. such a funny game. really hit me in the "wow i love bad games" part of my brain. i also tried to play 2 different games, Norco and Soma. Norco has a really really interesting start actually but lol i kinda had to set it down because it did bring up some feelings that im currently not really in the mindset to sit through. Soma though... idk i had fun with it but i got to a specific part that kinda freaked me out a little so that is ALSO on hold. kinda sad. hoping i can get back to either of them someday...

in other gamer news... endless ocean 3 came out! the long awaited sequel(?) of my fave game (endless ocean 2 for the wii)! and i have mixed feelings !!! i definitely need to play a lot more of the game to fully grasp my thoughts but honestly so far it has been a little disappointing. i enjoy the solo and shared dives a lot but tbh worst part of the game so far for me has been the story mode unfortunately. the way that it is set up really feels restrictive in comparison to the first 2 games, as it really forces you to do something specific instead of letting you wander your way into doing what the game wants you to do. and if that wasnt all it kicks you into a menu every time you finish what it wants you to do. idk. kinda annoying when previous games just let you explore alongside doing story at the same time. other than that my issues really just come to really insignificant things that dont really matter. ive been enjoying the game tho and cant wait to 100% it. heres some pics i took in game